2009 July 02, Seek out water???

2009 July 02, Seek out water???

Originally posted on my previous blog archive site

Thursday, July 02, 2009 
2009 July 02, Seek out water???
Current mood:Wet

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This morning I drew a tarot card for myself with the question, “Why can’t I seem to get as much writing done as I want?”.  (When drawing a card for myself, I tend to rely on “Tarot: Mirror of the Soul” for the initial interpretation before putting my own spin on it.)

Mirror of the Soul gives the meaning of the High Priestess card as “access to intuitive powers, healing, independence, inner equilibrium, increased self-confidence”.  That made sense to me.

The Question that I was told to ask myself was, “Are there areas in your life in which you allow others to influence you rather than trusting your own intuition?”  Well, I knew the answer to that one!

The Suggestion that was offered was, “Seek out water as often as you can.  Meditate near water, and learn from it as much as you can.”

Those of you in the NorthEast know that we’ve been getting rain after rain after rain.  Today has been a particularly intense storm (thunder, lighting, rain, hail).  I had water all around me!  However, meditating while sitting on the back porch watching and listening to the rain fall was getting me nowhere.

What luck!  The rain pattered off and the sky cleared!  Since focusing on the rain wasn’t working, I knew just what to do. I promptly put on my jogging shorts with the intention of a quick jog to the park, a short meditation at the pond, and a quick jog home.

On the way there, I was thinking – almost like a moving meditation.  Before I actually got to the park I had figured out that I know what the block in my writing is.  I’m worried that if I don’t have cohesive structure before starting to write, then what I put on paper will be all over the place and hard to understand.  I also have an intuitive idea what to do about it.  I need to just write and not worry about the form, structure, or “polish” of it – that can come later.  But I was holding myself back from doing just that.  But why?  Because I was worried about what would happen if I pushed past the block. 

That’s when I made the mistake of asking no one in particular, “What would happen if I trusted my instinct and pushed past the block?”  There was a crack of lightning and the sky opened up. In a matter of seconds, I was soaked to the skin and couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of me.  That was my answer.  If pushed past the block with no regard to anything else, it would be like a dam breaking – a flow of force but without a container.  Potentially overwhelming if not prepared for but the water would be free.

While getting soaked, I realized that right now, my writing is all dammed up and the information that I want to get down isn’t doing any good unless I do get it down.  Maybe it’s time to release the floodgates and see what happens.  After all, it’s only water, right?..

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